Saturday, May 05, 2007

Decisions of indecision

We make them everyday. Some are made consciously and some are made sub-consciously. What a difference the two are. The moment we are consciously aware of a decision being made, all our neuroses, insecurities, hopes and fears rear their ugly heads in order to disrupt this, otherwise, basic and simple process.

I think the worst occasion for indecision is when you have already made a decision and that decision is then thrown into an arena of uncertainty. Boy does that really piss me right off!

So, how does one deal with the decisions of indecision?

The truth lies firmly in the reasons for your original decisions, as I found out recently.

For most decisions we make, we don’t have to think too hard. But there are some decisions that take thoughtful insight and educated judgment calls. Isn’t it ironic, that the harder you have to think about the decision the easier for that decision to become an indecision?

Take my decision to return to NZ. Now, I firmly believe in my decision and, having thought hard about my options, decided to commit to this plan. Within one evening, my decision was hanging by a knife edge. My plans lay almost in ruins. I had no idea what to do. Even after all the careful consideration I made to return to NZ it took one tiny thing to blow me off course. Now, I call it a “thing” because I don’t feel it necessary to air all my dirty laundry, only some of it :P So let’s just leave it at that.

Having spoken to S, I found out that actually I had let my emotions cloud my, otherwise, rational decision-making machine. What a crazy and unnecessary emotional rollercoaster. It’s only after speaking (or writing) the words do we find ourselves able to digest the situation rationally, freeing ourselves from the indigestion of indecision.

So what lessons were learnt?

If you make a decision that comes from deep within i.e. your convictions, you should stick with it. Always remember why you made that decision in the first place. This is not to say, however, that you shouldn’t be flexible when it comes to decision-making. But better to stick to your guns than to become “flaky”. If anything, to be “flaky” only highlights a lack of belief in oneself and an ease for coming undone.

We all have what it takes to do the things in life that we believe/know we want to do; we tend to look for our answer somewhere other than within ourselves. We often expect others to give us the answers. Trust in your own convictions and you will find that your instincts will guide you to the decision and avoid a perpetual battle with uncertainty and indecision.

Now, should I have the white or the red wine with my steak? Or should I have the chicken?


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